Online Members
None
Online Guests: 11
Events
« May 2017 »
M
T
W
T
F
S
S
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
17
18
19
20
21
22
24
26
27
29
30
31
 
 
 
 
Google Translate
Jcub95 May Be Dead..
Forum » Twisted Clans Dashboard » Off-Topic Chatter
Jcub95 [=eX=] 2nd May 2013


Joined: 9th Apr 2014
Rank: eXodus
Posts: 45
Likes 1



Temporarily, but nonetheless I am basically going to be absent for a while.

A lot is going on with me lately, I'm not going to go into It. Just for one my father Is going through "Suicidal Depression", and It has me worried. His father committed suicide when he was about my age....

I am also going through the process/phase of "Well you're almost 18, Son. So I can't wait to kick you out, have fun begging on the streets."
Which is put nicely to say the least..

I have a job, and people I can rely on to help me get on my feet. But I don't want to impose of course. My Mom moved away so I'm stuck with my Dad. The "I don't give a shit about you" parent. Both are close to the same really, as my grandmother is more of a parent then either combined.

Just some things I have to deal with, what else can I do but just try to keep moving forward, right? Worst advice ever, the only thing you can do is move forward, whether it's through a field of happiness, or down a dark road to despair.

But It just doesn't seem like "moving forward" is worth It any longer. I've had a rough childhood parent relationship wise.

But of course I try not to take the things in my life for granted as they could be far worse. However I feel a sense of hopelessness, and I fear what's in my future.

Anyway, my internet has gone away, and I'm not sure when I'll get It back..



Signature Picture

~Drive To Kill, Dying To Drive. Live To Drive, Ride To Rise. Roll Over Their Skulls, Never Stop The Ride. Live To Rise, To Fight For Your Drive~

Jcub95 [=eX=] 2nd May 2013


Joined: 9th Apr 2014
Rank: eXodus
Posts: 45
Likes 1



I appreciate your concern. I also believe It should be left up to whoevers life Is being taken into account. You are responsible for YOU, nobody else. Society dictates who dies at the hands of an execution, why can one not choose ones fate?

Sorry we come off on the wrong foot sometimes.

I'm not "Plotting" anything.. just a few rough patches to work out.

I did however find a rope in my dad's car tied into a noose.....

Also I didn't think about this when I wrote the topic but....

I meant "Jcub May Be Dead" As in My PSN because of my internet issues.

I didn't realize mentioning "suicide" would give off a whole other meaning, untill i looked back on it. lol...


Signature Picture

~Drive To Kill, Dying To Drive. Live To Drive, Ride To Rise. Roll Over Their Skulls, Never Stop The Ride. Live To Rise, To Fight For Your Drive~

B [BSRK] 2nd May 2013


Joined: 18th Jan 2014
Rank: Berserkers
Posts: 3029
Likes 1



Good luck bro. You can either let it drag you down or use it as motivation to be even better. Most people who achieve greatness do so because they overcame some bad shit.
Jcub95 [=eX=] 2nd May 2013


Joined: 9th Apr 2014
Rank: eXodus
Posts: 45
Likes 1



Thanks Troll, and Boston. I will do my best to get through it because afterall - What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!

I'll also do my best to try and keep contact with all of you.


Signature Picture

~Drive To Kill, Dying To Drive. Live To Drive, Ride To Rise. Roll Over Their Skulls, Never Stop The Ride. Live To Rise, To Fight For Your Drive~

Jcub95 [=eX=] 2nd May 2013


Joined: 9th Apr 2014
Rank: eXodus
Posts: 45
Likes 1



Thanks for the kind words Chriz, I always have to remember that you don't have to be what your father is. It's one of those things I guess the longer you get told something about yourself, the more you start to believe it.

My grandpa used to tell me a story about a friend he had when he was a kid - The nicest guy he ever knew at the time. Friendly, generous, easy going, etc.. But when him and his friends got into his dads gun room they were screwing around like kids do and one of the kids aimed the gun at this kid and shot him in the head...

Thinking safety was on, playing a "Freeze, sucka!" Type of little roleplay ended up being the the highlight of his childhood misery. The kid that shot him couldn't live with himself.. he was never the same again my Gramps said. Then he found him in his backyard hanging from a tree a few weeks later.

Heavy shit, but my gramdfather went to the military after high school. And I can only bet that grimm history had him re-thinking some life choices.

Point is... You can't dwell on the past, you have to embrace the future. However when the present shows no signs of a good future, that's the worst feeling of all.


Signature Picture

~Drive To Kill, Dying To Drive. Live To Drive, Ride To Rise. Roll Over Their Skulls, Never Stop The Ride. Live To Rise, To Fight For Your Drive~

B [BSRK] 2nd May 2013


Joined: 18th Jan 2014
Rank: Berserkers
Posts: 3029
Likes 1



Its all about perception. From what I read I'd say your getting very close to being able to move out of a bad living situation and into something that has to be better. This alone is proof there is some sign of a better future. Your close to being in total control of your day to day life which is huge.
BladeAngel7 [=eX=] 2nd May 2013


Joined: 5th Dec 2012
Rank: eXodus
Posts: 2309
Likes 1



Damn dude...I'm sorry to hear that ;( truly I am I mean for your dad your own flesh and blood to abandon you or kick you out once you're 18...it's not right

But like you said it all relies on what you do with your life and can't rely on anyone else even your own parents...sorry for sounding like an asshole right now but it's life and life's a bitch especially when it comes to what you're going bro...

Don't worry Jcub, you'll be able to overcome this expeirence and be able to move on and conquer your past and live on to what lies ahead! Everything that you do in life falls upon you...

Your future depends on what you do in the present...the past can't be undone..what's done is done.

You'll get through this Jcub... you got my support in spirit and in (cheesy line coming up) faith..

^(n_nv)


I have the instincts to end your miserable life...but I have the heart to spare you..

L1lGolp3661 [echo] 2nd May 2013

Joined: 24th Apr 2013
Rank: echo
Posts: 85
Likes 0



Jcub we may not know eachother much but you never know where you'll find the support you need. I myself have gone through some shit and I'm all about helping people. you got my support as well bro, sometimes it's best to not keep those feelings bottled up. honestly I know it took a lot to open up the way you did and it won't be in vain. Hats off to you man for having the courage and strength to speak up.


Signature Picture
aVeryAngryKitten 2nd May 2013

Joined: 18th Jan 2013
Rank: TC Member
Posts: 724
Likes 5



Definitely a wrong choice for the headline for this topic jcub but since it's already there...pretty much everything troll said at the beginning is what my 2 cents would have been....honestly troll, it's like you stole a page from my life because everything you mentioned I've been through. Seriously, verbatim, right down to the two suicides.....


Signature Picture

Just because I'm better than you, it doesn't mean we can't still be friends...

X-PloytAdmin 3rd May 2013

Joined: 12th Dec 2012
Rank: Admin
Posts: 1846
Likes 29



QuoteIts all about perception. From what I read I'd say your getting very close to being able to move out of a bad living situation and into something that has to be better. This alone is proof there is some sign of a better future. Your close to being in total control of your day to day life which is huge.
I agree with Boston.

I feel like I had a rather shitty childhood being the "odd" one of a dysfunctional family, but the time I used from a child up to being a young adult, trying to understand why people and things were the way they were, certainly taught me alot about people, and life in general as I applied what I've come to know in the situations I have come across - might I add, now I feel like I'm light years ahead compared to some, because I was mentally tough when I needed to be, and that translated to what I know now to be sticking to my guns and not falling for the bullshit, and I'm proud of myself for that.

JCub, it sounds like you got a good head on your shoulders. As time goes on, you will establish yourself away from the all negative energy and thoughts and undoubtedly focus more on the positive with ease. With enough time, you will triumph over the confusion. With time you will know with complete certainty, that at the end of the day it is never/will never be your fault for the wrong doing of others, and will see people for who they really are, whether or not they are your blood.

Hindsight is 20/20.


Signature Picture

Last Edit: 3rd May 2013 by X-Ployt
daehlluks8 3rd May 2013

Joined: 25th Mar 2013
Rank: TC Member
Posts: 124
Likes 0



I'm going through a life depressing situation as well. Not in terms of death but definitely has impacted my hobbies (incllu twisted metal). Hope things get better soon. They always do you know...just a bitch called time.
King Berserk [BSRK] 3rd May 2013


Joined: 1st Dec 2012
Rank: Berserkers
Posts: 2858
Likes 2



QuoteDefinitely a wrong choice for the headline for this topic jcub but since it's already there...pretty much everything troll said at the beginning is what my 2 cents would have been....honestly troll, it's like you stole a page from my life because everything you mentioned I've been through. Seriously, verbatim, right down to the two suicides.....
same thingexept im waiting for the whole family to die and i have a few more suiside attempts.


“Believe nothing you hear
and only half of what you see.”

King Berserk [BSRK] 3rd May 2013


Joined: 1st Dec 2012
Rank: Berserkers
Posts: 2858
Likes 2



its odd how everybody here has suiside attempts or shit pasts. do suisidal people attract or something?


“Believe nothing you hear
and only half of what you see.”

aVeryAngryKitten 3rd May 2013

Joined: 18th Jan 2013
Rank: TC Member
Posts: 724
Likes 5



Yes comm, people who were given bad parental advice throughout there childhood, which usually led to multiple attempts of suicide, itself brought on by massively unhealthy doses of drug use and/or depressive repeat listening of various new wave bands or heavy metal, almost always seem to find a way to connect with like minded individuals. Usually this connection happens when one of us seeks out others who also can not stand the music of Kenny G or the film the Village, but in rare cases like ourselves we came together out of love for a game, just like the nation of Japan.


Signature Picture

Just because I'm better than you, it doesn't mean we can't still be friends...

King Berserk [BSRK] 3rd May 2013


Joined: 1st Dec 2012
Rank: Berserkers
Posts: 2858
Likes 2



the hell is kenny G?
any way back on topic. ive never seen or thought bad parental advice leads to suiside. as for drugs im not going to touch that. heavy metal n stuff is also debatable.
tho from a strict strait forward modernday logic i agree completely as a person i say bull


“Believe nothing you hear
and only half of what you see.”

Last Edit: 3rd May 2013 by King Berserk
Mihyaz05 [muse] 3rd May 2013


Joined: 17th Dec 2012
Rank: MUSE
Posts: 844
Likes 0



man this topic makes me feel bad :/ all these things will gain you experience and if you are patient maybe the time is gonna be your what you need.. you are stronger as you like your RK, you can take it ! i hope all these things get better soon we all love you bro !!


Signature Picture

                    \ \ \ Spectre///

B [BSRK] 3rd May 2013


Joined: 18th Jan 2014
Rank: Berserkers
Posts: 3029
Likes 1



@jj, couldn't agree more. It makes me wonder if i'd enjoy TM as much if it was a huge hit. The community really is amazing as a whole.

@ comm, Kenny G is a guy with a bad perm. Also people tend to seek out certain types of people without knowing it. Sometimes its just people who have been thru shit banning together. Sometimes its a person seeking out a mate who's broken so they can fix them or even a person who's been abused seeking out another abuser even though they try not to. Human mind is Berserk. Maybe we should send an invite.
AmentiV2 3rd May 2013

Joined: 8th Jan 2013
Rank: TC Member
Posts: 72
Likes 0



Hey Jcub.....sorry to hear about the rough tribulations. I myself did not grow up with parents. When my father decided he wanted to raise me (@ age 12) I wanted the father I never had. I then found out I was only being used for tax purposes ( he used my SSN to get credit cards, a house, a car, among other things). My mother did the same to my two sisters but not to me. I never really knew my father and don't now because he is incarcerated. I am about to graduate from ITT Tech with a degree in IT for computer networking, I have my own place, a girl, and a steady job managing people in a big corporate restaurant chain. You have every ounce and capability to go wherever you want and do whatever it is you want to do, I can't even tell you how many times and people have told me this but it wasn't until I really exercised that quote to fully realize the purpose. I know you are having hard times Jcub but rememeber bro.....you CAN take yourself further than anyone else and no one will fight harder for yourself than you. You will make it Jcub.....you have a great spirit......just keep pushing bro. I am here for you in spirit!! Stay up Twisted Brother!!!



AmentiV2

King Berserk [BSRK] 4th May 2013


Joined: 1st Dec 2012
Rank: Berserkers
Posts: 2858
Likes 2



screw it ima let off some steam.
the onlyone here who knows a little bit of my back story is troll.
the only one who somewhat knows what kind of person i am is ahley.
i have alot of things bugging me, yes jcub i relate to you as i am almost 18 and i wont be wanted in my house once i am legally an adult. but thats minor to me.
the two main things killing me are
in a few weeks i will go to court and decide if my father goes to prison or my mother loses everything and possibly dies. now you can imagine how deep the shit goes there and its not plesant.
second is my body is falling apart on me. a severe back injury is getting worse and a injury in my right nee ive had for 2 months is also getting worse. with my right legs weakened state my left leg has been taking all the punishment to the point where its starting to give out or according to the doc starting to break. i feel traped in my body i cant play football or tag or run my favorite passtimes. its a bad feeling especially when you consider where i sleep. insomnia doesnt help either but that leads into a whole other thing.


“Believe nothing you hear
and only half of what you see.”

B [BSRK] 5th May 2013


Joined: 18th Jan 2014
Rank: Berserkers
Posts: 3029
Likes 1



@ comm, Thats some heavy stuff bro. Im sure it was tough to let out there but i think you'll be happy you did. You got a lot of friends here who care and will help in any way possible. Everyone needs people to talk to and sometimes its easier when you don't have to see them in real life daily.

With the parents all you can do is whatever you believe to be the right thing based on the situation. No parent should ever let their child feel that kinda pressure. Its horrible on every level. Remember no matter what choice you make you didn't put anyone in jail or make anyone lose anything. Its not on you. If your dad goes to jail its cuz he didn't something he shouldn't. Same works with your mom though im sure if thats the right choice its more complex.

I don't have a ton of experience with the medical stuff. All I can say is listen to the doc and be very cautious of allowing them to over medicate you with pain meds. Dont suffer in pain to avoid it. Just be aware cuz an injury combined with personal issues is the start to many sad stories. Also if you haven't already try Melatonin for sleep. Its not addictive and they sell it over the counter at most pharmacies. It wont help keep you asleep but it can really help with falling asleep. I used it during my withdrawls when i couldn't sleep for so long i felt like i was losing my mind. A good friend told me about it and it made a real difference for me.

You know this but if theres anything i can do just ask. Anything bro.
Forum » Twisted Clans Dashboard » Off-Topic Chatter
Please login or register to reply.
Register to our website!

Already have an account? Login »