Kittens Community Service 4: The Revenge of the Service
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In this issue of Community Service we will visit Skylines newly renovated Club Vertigo and talk with its owners about what kind of changes they've done to make it safer. Also, we were given a rare interview with Cody Grifford, the Deadliest man in Twisted Metal. Not sure who Cody is? He drives the health truck of course. Finally we will be talking with the former members of EAT SLEEP PLAY, who sat down to tell us the whole twisted history of what went wrong with this game.

All this plus a Koala Bear that absolutely loves his new Laser Pistol, in today's issue of Community Service...
But first....

"Quote of the Week"

"Hell yes I lag switch."


John Wayne, told to reporters at the 1949 Academy Awards
Activity Feed Recap

Here's what you may have missed in the Activity Feed

Xployt did a live feed of his game play.
We learned Yabbiehands could paint.
The 200th person joined this site.
JobJob did an interview.
Rob talked Soccer.
We found out which block in Tetris Muddeh hates.
Sea Urchin and OldDirtyApu talked about having a battle.

Announcements
Blue Voltage and Pink Tornado would like to announce that they really have nothing to announce today.
Weekly Horoscope with....
BladeAngel7
Aries: · well...shit haha my bad XD
Taurus: Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese!!!!

Gemini: Quick rant:
I went to go buy cheese and hot Cheetos to make hot Cheetos with cheese
Came back
Made it
Wasn't satisfied
Went back to get more
Came back and made it
Satisfied
Went to the bathroom
Gets out
Wants to play ps3
Finds out his ps3 is gone...
Worse part TM disc is gone as well...
Stands there
Leaves
Goes on this to Leave this stupid an unimportant message

Cancer,: I do shitty videos CX

Leo: i have no speech prepared! XD

Virgo: This is a question you should ask everyone if they question you of being a hacker XD

Libra,: she can kill me if she wants

Scorpio:The weird stuff I say online and the things I do online...it's just obnoxious but yet hilarious to me! XD

Sagittarius: Their lives were called by God so he asked me to take them they died a quick and painless death

Capricorn: Lol I'm just weirded out by the fact that boobs aren't the subject here but oh we'll.........Cheese

Aquarius,:· Lol fucking Mihyaz XD but seriously rematch and no whining you whine ill kick your ass!! XD

Pisces:Fuck where's the "challenge accepted" meme when you need it?!

JobJob's Video of the Week
Index Case - Why Dreams Bleed
Community Service
JobJob, in his best Jeremiah Johnson impersonation, recently did a podcast interview for SirCrush that was made for the website therealgamers.com(don't quote me on the link though, I'm going by memory) I can not fault JobJob for doing this on account that SirCrush is obviously British royalty and it would be in bad taste to turn him down(if he wasn't royalty then his name would just be Crush, which would make him either a pro league surfer or a back up dancer for Ke$ha)I thought Jobs did an ok....uh...job doing what he did, speaking on behalf of this site, but there was one thing that I was confused about when it was all over......Did I hear an edited version of the interview? I must have because the part where JobJob mentioned me was nowhere to be heard in interview I listened to. I figured that the reason for this was because my phone, which I played it on, didnt have enough memory to play the whole thing so all I got was a heavily edited version of the broadcast.


That must be it.....ill tell ya though, I was pretty upset when I first thought I was forgotten.....shoulda seen my face......but its cool now, I know what happened....
moving on.

When asked about this obvious interview faux pas JobJob had this to say: absolutely nothing, he replied with this youtube video link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mM3qOxHdcCU

Listen to the Podcast Here on therealgamers.net

Where are they now (Special Edition)

Nuke, Team Hunted, Hunted



I once sat in a Nuke lobby for two hours waiting on one last person to show up. There we sat, five desperate individuals hoping for a sixth that would sadly, never come.
I'm just messing with you, Ive never sat in a Nuke lobby before......
I'm willing to bet that you reading this never have either. Would you like to know why this is? Its because Nuke is one of those rare things in life that are seemingly difficult to find, kinda like the Loch Ness monster. People love to talk about nuke and ask why there never seems to be a game going but never actually want to play if there was. This does not make the game of Nuke a bad thing, its just an acquired taste. People that love nuke are somewhat in the same category as the lovers of Dungeons and Dragons, devoted, defensive and desperate to get a game going but always being one Warlock short.
Hunted and Team Hunted are two games I have not been able to grasp as to why they are not more popular. I'm sure that Nuke lovers will chime in and put down these two games but I think I can stand the wraith of two individual players. That said, what is it about hunted and team hunted that people hate? Every time I'm in a room and the host switches it to Hunted with the words, "Lets take a break from dm for a minute...", the room clears out faster than.....well, faster than I can come up with something witty to say about how fast it is. Why though? Why don't we all take breaks from the same two modes of play to play something different? Add a little variety, it's just ten minutes(unlike Nuke, which seems to go on for -eh- ver). You were probably conceived in less time.
On a side note, why is Hunted the go to game for boosters? I mean, you get barely any xp in this game yet whenever I see a Hunted game and go into the room it is always filled with 3 regular players and 3 booster cars. Usually they will leave to start a new room once I am discovered which is always awkward for me because Im always left talking to myself in chat.
News

...... And Now Only One Remains


mattmoose2009.jpg While out hunting Moose in Frosting, Maine, George Reeves accidentally shot and killed the worlds last remaining Dragon. According to sources, Mr. Reeves was heading up the North Ridge of Layers Park when he spotted a Moose grazing in the field. Silently he pulled his rifle and started to line up the shot when suddenly he was startled by a tremendous flapping of wings coming from overhead. Confused as to what it was and afraid for his safety he dropped to the ground, and not thinking, he pulled the trigger, hitting the Dragon directly in its chest and sending it plummeting to the ground. The Dragon, lovingly called Draco by some not very original park rangers, had lived up in the hills of Layer Park for almost 600 years after his kind were hunted to the brink of extinction by Dragon Slayers and Trolls after the Great Dragon Scare of 1367, a scam perpetrated by Wizards and Warlocks in order to gain power of the Red Mountains. After Draco arrived, though mistrustful at first of all outsiders for fear of being slain, he finally found peace and harmony, up until yesterday when he was killed by a 12 gauge Wal-Mart bought shotgun. This death leaves just one of the mythical creatures left from the old times alive, The Pegasus, who lives in an animal rescue shelter somewhere in Jersey.

Dora went "Exploring"


reallifedoraexplorer.jpg Dora the Explorer, the famed six-year-old archeologist, was reported missing yesterday after she and her assistant Boots failed to come home from their hike up to Green Mountain to look for a baby condors lost parents. Police are being quiet about the details of the investigation but our sources are telling us that Diego, Doras animal rescue working cousin, was called into police headquarters late last night for questioning about his whereabouts at the time of her Green Mountain Hike. No charges were filed but he is definitely a person of interest in the ongoing case, as are the explorers own parents who are now being investigated by Child Protective Services for neglect. "That kid was never seen with her parents," a neighbor told us by phone, "she'd be out willy nilly to all hours of the night. Just her an that god-damned monkey(Boots) crossing rickety bridges, white water rafting in crocodile infested rivers and walking around asking questions to people who were not even there. One time I saw her look up at a wall, ask it how many apples it could count up above her head, tell it that it did a great job and then proceed to sing some song about how they did it......it was the creepiest shit I ever saw." Police are asking for any information that may lead to Doras whereabouts. They are also asking you to be on the lookout for a masked Fox who goes by the name of Swiper, he was often seen lingering around Dora and Boots on many occasions and has been linked to the Green River Murder case in recent past where he was one of the multiple suspects in the investigation, though no charges were ever brought forth.

Macy's Now Carrying Big&Tall Line of Clothing


images29.jpgShoppers at an East Texas mall got more than just good bargains while shopping at the local Macy's department store. At least four customers have reported that they saw the elusive Bigfoot while they were browsing through the mens fashion section of the store. Sandra Williams, who was there with her sixteen year old son, is one of the people who witnessed the creature. She sat down with us this morning and described what it was she saw, "We were standing in the Ralph Lauren section of the menswear looking for clearance items. Suddenly there was this awful stench of what seemed to be urine and wet leaves. I was about to go and complain when my son starts tugging at my shoulder and pointing at, what I thought was just a really tall and hairy man. Then I saw his feet, they were huge! I immediately knew what it was...Bigfoot! As shocked as I was, I stood there and watched as it looked over a few short sleeve Polo's. After a few minutes, it picked out a red, extra large striped Polo and then wandered off into the sporting goods section. It was simply amazing!" At least two other customers have come forth describing their encounter with the creature. It's believed that the creature had come down from the hills because it was possibly attracted by the scent of the malls food court, but then it stuck around because of the savings that were to be had at Macy's one day sale being held that same day.
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